there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
