Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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