Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
