I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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