My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Randomize
