Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
you will always have a special place in my vag
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
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