They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
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