im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
