you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
