do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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