I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
