That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
this just has baby written all over it
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
