Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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