dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize