i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
