Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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