I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
