I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i think i have two assholes
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
This is my gift to your gina
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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