Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I touched a dick in church today
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
