If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
