Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize