I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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