we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
