I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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