I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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