wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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