my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
