No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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