I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
