I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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