yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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