No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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