yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
