haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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