It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
