I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
