Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
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