Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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