I look better un-naked...
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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