things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
