Do vagina's smell?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
