I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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