i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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