You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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