I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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