So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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