But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
