Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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