At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
