sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize