i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
