You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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