last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
