drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
