I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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