My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
