playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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