so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
