I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
