I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
