Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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