apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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