I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
