how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
