you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
So vagazzling was a success
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
