Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
